It’s that wonderful time of year when employees the world over receive their performance reviews and the collective blood pressure/stress levels spike.  Performance reviews always feel like a stressful situation, for both managers (who have to find ways to constructively point out areas of improvement) and employees (who have to find ways to accept feedback in a healthy way).  I find it very helpful to keep one thing in mind - people wouldn’t give us feedback if they didn’t care about us.

Asking for Help

I know I’ve agonized over every step of the feedback process, from selecting peers to provide it, to writing my own, to reading my own.  It can be very hard to get into the mindset of “I want you to help me improve” because it requires us to become vulnerable. Not only are we asking for help (something in itself that can be a challenge), we’re asking for someone else to hold up a mirror and show us the flaws that we don’t see.  

Despite the pain, this tends to be the quickest way to figure out where you can improve.  If you’re looking for a promotion, you’ll certainly need to do this, but at the very least you should be interested in making your life (and your coworkers lives) easier by plugging the holes and amplifying your strengths. The point of feedback is to improve yourself. Unfortunately many of us confuse it with getting a promotion/raise/etc, which corrupts the goal and dilutes the result.

My approach is to pick somewhere from 5-10 folks to provide a review.  I know some percentage won’t get back to me, so having 5-10 helps ensure at least a few will (this doesn’t include my manager or direct reports, who are generally automatically included).  If I can’t think of folks I go over any projects I’ve worked on over the year (also helpful with writing your own feedback!), specifically for longer or more challenging ones and select folks from those.  I also do my best not to cherry pick only folks I know will give me a “good” review… the intention is, after all, to improve.

Writing Your Own Feedback

This to me is always a challenge.  It requires both cheer-leading yourself but also being objective.  You need to keep enough self-awareness to point out where you can improve, while also showcasing your accomplishments.  It also requires actually remembering what you’ve been up to.

I start with just listing out things I’ve done over the year (or however long it’s been since the last review) and grouping them into themes (led X# projects to completion, etc.).  I may call out one or two big wins, but this is mainly to help me shape the rest of the my self-review. Once I’ve got a good view of what went on I see if there are any patterns (positive or negative) to look into.  These patterns make it much easier to start, and also provide a focus as I think through what I’m going to write down.

The critical self-feedback is always a bit more challenging, but I perform the same basic process - examine my work for any patterns I want to change, and dig into those.  This may result in bigger themes (e.g. improve my ability to think strategically) to specific skill sets to improve (training in project management).

Writing Others Feedback

This one is always a toss up for me.  Not a toss up in terms of “will I do it?”, but in terms of what feedback I’ll give them.  The general intention I follow is to call out things they do well and should keep doing, and point out areas they may either be unaware of, or areas I feel they can be stronger.

Blind spots can be tricky to point out since I don’t want them to feel attacked.  For example, “You never provide a meeting agenda and I hate that” isn’t really a positive way to point out an area to improve.  Something more along the lines of “You schedule a lot of meetings, I think you’d be more impact by including an agenda”.

Point out areas to amplify is a bit easier, since you can build on something they already do.  For example “You’re off to a great start writing project summaries. They’ll be even better if you include an appendix”.  This not only shows them a behavior you want them to continue to do, but offers some way to make it even better.

Positives and Needs Improvement (Work in Progress, Weaknesses, Opportunities, etc …)

One of the major features of a performance review is to include examples of your strengths and weaknesses.  This is always a fun exercise of first remembering what you’ve done over the past 6-12 months, and second critically thinking about areas you can improve (which tends to run directly into my ego at full speed).

I find it easier to think in terms of stories when talking about strengths.  Saying you’re a good communicator is one thing, but providing a narrative that gives context and details makes it both easier to write and share.  Conversely I find it easier to stick with discreet statements on opportunities, and then add a bit about how I will improve it. This helps demonstrate that I both understand where I need to improve, and have thought through some fixes (at the very least).

Strength example - My communication skills helped defuse a very tense escalation with a client resulting from a system error.

Weakness example - My communication skills need work.  To improve these I will sign up for XYZ class and double check every email before sending.

The goal here is to exercise self-awareness so you can self-correct. Feedback from others twice a year is good, continuous (honest) feedback from yourself is even better.

Dealing with feedback

Opening yourself up to feedback can be a very scary (and challenging) thing, and getting it can be even more challenging.  I tend to read my feedback several times before I even try to understand it. This mainly stems from reading the “opportunities” section (e.g. where you can improve).  My ego frequently kicks in and gets defensive about the comments and immediately begins formulating responses.

Not very helpful.

It’s not helpful because this individual is:

• Someone I’ve asked to help me by giving feedback - While not true for 100% of folks (e.g. some places may assign reviewers, and typically your manager and direct reports always give feedback), in most cases you’ve ASKED for their input.  Unless that feedback is wildly out of line you’re both wasting their time and second-guessing yourself.

• Has a unique perspective on me - This is both frustrating and helpful.  Frustrating because you know you don’t do XYZ thing all the time… helpful because it is how at least one person views you (imagine all the folks you didn’t ask who have the same viewpoint….).

In order to actually learn from that type of feedback I desensitize myself to it.  I’ll read it a few times, then walk away. Then come back and repeat. Once the twitching has stopped (for the most part anyway), I’ll then see if I agree with what they said.  Frequently I can find other examples of their feedback, which makes it easier for me to digest it.

I would almost prefer the feedback where my ego kicks in and immediately starts screaming challenges to the feedback that doesn’t tell me anything interesting.  In the first case I have to learn to take a critical look at myself and examine potential flaws (even if I’m blind to them). In the second case, I get comments like this :

“I cannot think of anything else he can improve on”

Possible reasons for this response:

• This is my fault - I may have picked a non-optimal reviewer (e.g. someone who didn’t work with me enough to get a good picture), or I failed to outline what I was looking for in the feedback (e.g. prompting).

• This is their fault - It is also possible this individual simply didn’t put energy into this to think through our interactions.  Basically they’re cheating me out of improvements because they’re lazy.  

• I really am perfect. - (unlikely)

Summary

Feedback is a skill, and like any skill it gets better with practice.  Don’t wait for the end of the year, half or quarter to solicit feedback from folks.  The more constant, honest feedback you get the faster you’ll be able to improve.