I picked up a great bit of advice from a recruiter - “Recruiters aren’t order takers, they’re partners”.  The intention behind this is you shouldn’t go to a recruiter and say “find me a lawyer” then walk away.  Instead, you should sit down with your recruiter and talk with them about what you need.  What problems are you trying to solve?  Why are those problems, well, problems?

This discussion helps the recruiter figure out what you REALLY need… not what you *think* you need.  The difference between the two can be finding a great candidate, and not finding anyone.  By partnering with the recruiter, instead of just putting in an order for something, you raise your chance of actually solving that challenge.

The same paradigm exists with technical teams (and I would imagine with ANY relationship).  Many times we’re just told to install some system or make some modification by a partner team.  The thinking is that the technical partner is there to take care of the technical stuff… which is obviously to install that new system.  This approach, however, drives us nuts.

Instead of just telling, or even politely asking, your technical partner for XYZ solution, it’s a much better idea to start a discussion with them.  Let them know more about what pain you’re experiencing, what solutions you’ve identified, and then ask what the best path forward is.  At the very least this will build your relationship with your technical partner; they’ll see you more as an active partner in the relationship and less of a burden.  At best, this will enable your technical partners to find better solutions… in many cases solutions you didn’t even knew existed.

Changing from order pushing to partnering can be challenging, but, like many things, it gets easier with practice.  The next time you have something you need from your technical partner, schedule a quick meeting with them.  Let them know you’ve got a challenge you need their help on and provide some background before the meeting.  This will likely intrigue them, especially if they’re used to being order takers, and give them a chance to understand what you need.

Instead of approaching the meeting in a “Here’s what I need” mindset, approach it in a “I need your help on X” mindset.  This will shift your perspective a bit, but more importantly it will show your technical partners you’re seriously about partnering.  Instead of phrasing things as a definitive - “we need X solution by Y date”,  phrase it as a question “So we’ve heard X solution would be a good idea, what do you think?”.  This opens the door for your technical partners to provide their ideas.

Most importantly this approach will demonstrate that you value your technical partners’ experience in their area. This goes a LONG way to building a positive relationship that will pay off in the future.