We’re human first
Working in tech I’ve found it very easy to forget that the human element is still there. It’s REALLY easy to focus on how the systems interconnect, or which technology you’re using, or what error popped up… but it’s far more important to remember that everyone involved, the people using and complaining and working the tech, are human. That said, I imagine that many folks who work in tech don’t do it because they want to interact with folks, instead they do it because tech is amazing.
This split can make things…. Problematic. Think back to any interaction you’ve had with someone on a support team who’s been less than empathetic. Or hasn’t taken the time to get to know you… or cannot pronounce your name properly (or even cares). They may do a great job of fixing whatever problem you have, but the interaction still left a bad taste in your mouth.
Remembering that we’re all human also goes both ways. The customer asking for help should keep in mind that tech may have had to work overtime to fix a problem and really just wants to relax. That stakeholder who’s upset their deliverable will be a bit late needs to keep in mind that the project team is doing everything they can to help. That same help desk technician, however, needs to remember that the person calling in to get help for the same problem they’ve fixed 9123 times today still needs their help.
It can be incredibly hard to remember this basic rule, especially when things go sideways and the pressure is on. We’ll find ourselves falling back to demanding things, placing blame, and other behaviors that “feel good” because we’re able to vent, or we think we’re doing something that helps… when really it just signals we don’t see others as being people. Instead, this behavior signals we see others as not needing our empathy or compassion.
There’s a few tricks I’ve found that help keep the “we’re all human” aspects near the top:
Small Talk - While it seems like it’s just a time waster, small talk (how was your weekend, what’s up with those boxing gloves in your background, etc) help uncover small pieces of folks. This, in turn, helps make them less “This person is wasting my time” and more human.
Asking them for help - This is very useful if they don’t think you’re as human as you’d like. Asking them to help out with something, even something small, helps them see you as another person and not just a machine that pushes buttons.
Checking in - I’ll randomly reach out to folks I haven’t worked with in a while just to say hello, or to share an article I think they’ll like. This both helps keep our relationship going, but also shows them I’m interested in them beyond just the project we’re on. Some of my stronger relationships have come from this approach.
