Oct 4

Oct 4 You Gotta Ask

“Better to be thought a fool for a moment than to remain ignorant for your lifetime”

I’m not 100% sure where I first heard that quote, but it has helped me immensely both in my personal and professional lives. We’ve all had those situations where we’re not 100% sure what someone said, or what they mean… or even if they’re talking to US. We’ve all also had that lingering thought of “well, I don’t want to sound stupid….”, so instead of asking a question, we keep our mouths shut. And we’re lesser for it.

Our ego’s are incredibly annoying things. While they do have some positive qualities (helping us acknowledge when we succeed, being a CLEAR signal for failures, etc), here I’m more interested in their negative qualities as it relates to the quote above. Specifically, our fear that our ego will be hurt if we ask a “stupid” question. There’s many thoughts on “stupid” questions (see if you can figure out which one I ascribe to based on the quotes), ranging from “there’s not stupid questions, only stupid people” to “there’s no such thing”. Regardless of one’s philosophical approach to them, however, we still fear asking one, because it can change how others perceive us.

This perception is heavily influenced by the culture of the group we’re with (e.g. teams with higher psychological safety will likely perceive less threat by asking questions), but that inner fear can still exist. Knowing how to overcome that fear is an essential skill, that not only helps you get better at asking questions, but can avoid some amazingly terrible situations. In each of these examples (and by no means is that a complete list!), taking a few moments to speak up can avoid a world of hurt.

For example:Not getting clarification on what someone needs from you… then delivering the wrong thing.

Not asking for follow up information on a potential risk… and then having to deal with that risk.
Not asking how to take your medication and taking the wrong dose.

In addition to help avoid potential downsides, speaking up and asking for clarifications also helps improve how others perceive you. Asking questions about the topic at hand tells others you’re paying attention to what’s going on. (While I’d like to think everyone always pays attention in meetings, somehow I don’t think that’s the case). By extension, this signals you’re interested in the topic, which is always a good thing to show.

Asking questions also helps others understand your level of comfort and experience with the topic. I’m not suggesting that asking questions will make others think you’re inexperienced and a fool, but rather the questions you ask will help them know where you best fit into the solution.

Questions will also help you expand personally. Not only will you learn something new (or avoid potential problems), you’ll get valuable practice asking questions. This sounds silly, but the more you ask clarifying questions, the more comfortable you’ll get with asking questions. This in turn, will give you more access to knowledge, and help you improve overall. So ask away, you can never chase away too much ignorance.