Testing Anxiety (Grade school, college, certification etc)

This won’t surprise folks who knew me back then, but I wasn’t a good test taker in school.  I didn’t get nervous or freak out about them - I usually just didn’t care… Fortunately (maybe the wrong word choice…), this changed after I left college and had to sit examinations for various certifications, such as the PMP, or ACP-620. I found they made me nervous… I was taking MONTHS to prepare for them, writing out dozens, no, hundreds, of flash cards and drilling them until I saw them in my sleep.

On the day of the exam I would be anxious… extra energy making me jittery and hard to focus.  The 2-4 hours stuck in a booth clicking answers felt like forever, and waiting for confirmation of a pass took longer.

Sidebar:

For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of taking one of these exams you used to have to go to a testing center, sign in, hand over all your stuff and then sit in a booth with a computer.  You’d answer all the questions over 2-4 hours, then click “done”.  You wouldn’t know your results until you went to the front and the proctor gave you a printout with “pass” or “fail”. The time between clicking “done” and seeing that paper was pure agony.

You can now take these exams at home, which requires you to show videos of your space to prove you aren’t cheating (finding a clean spot is hard!). Once you click “Done”, however, you’ll get results VERY quickly.  But that gap still feels like forever.

Additionally, I earned my Masters in IT Management several years after earning my BS while working full time… and pulled almost straight A+’s the entire time.

For years I’ve been trying to figure out the difference… and I think I finally have it figured out - I care now.  For me the exams in school were compulsory, something I had to do… so I did, just… poorly. Now, however, they’re optional, something I am opting into.  I’m choosing to subject myself to hours of lectures, reading assignments and practice environments. I’m choosing to memorize how workflows or automations or queries work.  I”m choosing to do all that instead of relaxing, or playing video games, or doing anything else.

And because I’m choosing to do all this, I’m nervous. Nervous that I’ve wasted my time, or won’t do well, or won’t have learned what I wanted to.  I think it’s that personal buy-in that’s made the biggest difference.  Once I decided to become invested in something, it had value to me.

Current Me wishes that past Me had figured that out… but I don’t think I would have. I didn’t have the desire to do well on the test or in (most of) my classes. While I do suffer from a bad case of “what if” when I think about it, honestly I’m just glad I’ve figured it out now.

Understanding why I care makes it easier for me to flip a switch and make something important. For example, while I may not REALLY care about that certification, I do care about what the process of earning it teaches me.  While I may not REALLY care about most of the content, I do care about the portions I know I’ll apply.

It’s been an interesting revelation, and one that I’m glad I finally made.

Let others do their jobs

I’ve had many transitions in my career; points in time where my job shifts a bit and I now get to do something new.  Doing something new also generally means no longer doing something old though, and this can be tough.  Tough, because you’re used to doing it.  Tough, because everyone knows YOU do it.  Tough, because you don’t think someone else can.

Letting go of those things is hard, but it’s also important to our own development, and maybe more importantly, for others to develop.  If we never let go of the things we used to do, the things that we’ve grown out of, we’re essentially cheating others out of the same opportunity we had to learn those skills.  If we step in and keep doing the same work we used to do, not only are we spending our time in an area that won’t help us grow, we deny others their chance to grow.

I’m not saying we don’t help someone who’s taken over an old role.  We certainly need to help set them up for success by giving them support, teaching them the ropes etc.  What we want to be careful of, however, is continuing to do that job even after we’ve moved on.  In addition to preventing them from learning, we also distract ourselves from our new role.  There’s only so much time, and any minute spent on the old role is one less spent on the new one.

I see this frequently happen when a new ticketing system and team comes online.  The group that used to do the work doesn’t want to let go.  They’re concerned the new system won’t track everything, or that the new team won’t be up to snuff.  There’s almost always SOME amount of disconnect as the new team comes online, but those aren’t just negative experiences.  They’re also opportunities for the new team to learn how to improve.  Making mistakes is one of the best ways to learn, and allowing others to make them is beneficial in the long term.

I’ve found that focusing on the new work, and checking in regularly with my replacement, is a great balance between the two.  This allows me to excel in my new area, but also keeps a communication channel open in case something is needed.  This helps build a strong relationship that makes the transfer more seamless, and easier, than if I stayed entirely involved.

Beginning Background Knowledge

I’ve found that many times I’m presented with a challenge that I don’t know the specific answer to.  It may be some complicated technical setup, or changing how a relationship operates, or some new technology.  These scenarios are a bit exciting and a bit scary since I go into them not knowing the answer.

I’ve found that in order to succeed with tasks like this background conceptual knowledge is critical.  Understanding the basics of how a system operates allows me to more easily understand new areas of it.  After all, it’s still got to follow some basic rules. (Similarly if we understand a little bit about how gravity operates that makes it much easier to understand how something will fall, even if we’ve never seen that specific object before).

This can also be applied to softer skills.  If we consider each individual we interact with as having their own underlying “rules” for how they prefer or need to communicate we can then apply those rules to future interactions.  As we meet and understand more people our toolkit expands and we can begin to apply these rules to folks we’ve never met before… and succeed.

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Find the common thread

The biggest challenge to making this work is to understand those basic rules.  This requires work.  You have to memorize and internalize terminology, where buttons are, what process flows exist.  Personally I find a three pronged approach to getting my brain up to speed; get the manual and read up, get hands on with the thing itself, and talk to others who know it already.

While reading documentation and studying documents can be tedious and boring this is a great way to understand how something works, especially when that documentation comes from the vendor or an expert in the field.  Documentation is great since you can go through it on your own time.  It doesn’t require others to be available or access to any new system.  It does, however, require time and effort.  Since it was written sometime in the past documentation can also feel disconnected from reality.  Due to this disconnection I tend to combine it with hands on discovery.

It’s hard to beat hands on experience to help drive learning, especially when combined documentation.  Being able to tinker and see things in action is an excellent reinforcement to learning.  Having the manual next to you as well lets you lookup what you’re actually doing.  This approach, however, can be frustrating if you run into a situation where you can’t progress because you’re missing something important.  This is where having someone who knows the system is very useful.

Talking to others about that system or interaction is also important.  There’s two main ways this can go - they know more about the system than you do, or they know about the general concepts (or both!).  The first will let you improve specific skillsets and learn the mechanics of that particular system.  This is great, especially when you’re first starting out since it helps increase your rate of skill gain.  The second helps you understand how to apply general concepts to different areas, which is also very important (especially if your role expands or changes).

In general you can’t really have TOO much background knowledge in any given subject.  The more you have, the more likely it is you can apply some of it to a challenge and come out on top.  It does take work to accumulate this information, but the effort is more than worth it.

Domain Expertise

In the tech world we tend to focus on learning the tech.  Those of us working on any given system or tool want to drill into how it operates, what features it has and when they should be used.  This is true for NetSuite, or AWS, or InfoSec.  And there’s nothing wrong with making technical skills a focus of our job; after all we ARE the systems folks!  

Learning technical skills, however, shouldn’t (can’t!) be all we focus on.  We also need to stretch ourselves to understand the domain our systems exists in.  For SalesForce this would involve learning how sales teams operate.  What does any given Sales rep need to do or know on a monthly/week/daily/hourly basis?  Why do they (dis)like any particular aspect of SalesForce?  What policies does the Sales team have to follow?

While certainly not directly related to the system, questions like this help inform WHY and HOW the system can be used.  We don’t need to know as much as our customers about their process, but the more we know, the better we’ll be able to support them (personally I became a license health care broker to help accomplish this).  

Gaining Domain Experience

There’s many ways to help expand our domain expertise.  The simplest is simply through osmosis.  As we work on any given system, we’ll naturally learn a bit about the domain it exists in.  Working in NetSuite, for example, will expose us to charts of accounts.  SalesForce will expose us to a closing process.  Workday will expose us to hiring.  This is a natural first step for many folks since it’s basically impossible to miss; you can’t learn the system without picking up SOMETHING.  That said, this is only the beginning.

Getting to know your customers is another way to improve your domain knowledge.  Get them involved in testing, or have them show you how they use any particular screen.  Sit in on their team meetings and get a feel for how the team behaves.  This first-hand experience has several advantages, including giving you more domain expertise, but also helps build connections and puts a face to everyone.  Knowing Jimmy in sales is much more impactful than knowing some random user has problems.

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Training like your customer-base takes this a step further.  Go and get whatever certification or accreditation they need (like my example of becoming a certified benefits broker).  This will not only extend your baseline knowledge of that particular area, it will help you see things the way they do.  In the care of a credential or training you’re also rounding out your own experience and possible exposing you to new concepts.  This has the added benefit of (generally) getting you some street-cred with your customers.

Going even deeper you could even BECOME your customer.  I very rarely see folks taking this path since it is very intense and time consuming… but it does offer the most in-depth way to gain experience.  For example a software engineer might choose to implement a live customer, or a Salesforce rep may take some inbound calls.  While this does crank up the intensity a bit, it will really help show you what’s important, or annoying, or impactful for your customer base.

While there’s nothing wrong with not taking these steps, I find they help individuals make better informed decisions and allows them to develop better solutions to challenges.  Flexing ourselves this way also has the side-effect of helping us build better relationships, and learn something new about our tool.

Standards

Standards exist in every discipline.  Effective Dates in Workday, Boolean logic in systems, federal regulation in hiring and the color wheel in art are all examples of Standards.  It is certainly possible to get by NOT knowing them, having these tools available on demand makes getting things done significantly easier.  Not only that, it makes working with others in your field easier as well.  A shared vocabulary and understanding enhances collaboration by allowing teams to quickly share information.

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Martial arts are a great example of a group that uses standards.  Generally these are sets of movements or ideas that you need to learn in order to progress.  As a newer student these standards serve as the next hurdle towards rank advancement and as a literal standard everyone your relative experience and rank needs to know.  As a more advanced rank you realize that these don’t just serve to roughly bucket folks by what they know, they serve as the building blocks towards more interesting things.

Professional connection

Professionally standards are generally learned earlier in our careers.  We go after a bachelors degree to get a solid understanding of fundamentals.  Our first jobs teach us basic skills like problem solving and communication.  Our first year(s) coding are spent learning terminology and concepts.  In many cases standards can be codified and taught in a structured way, for example a course at university.  They can also be taught in an unstructured way, copying an existing piece of art/code/whatever, for example.  The former relies on an instructor to help guide you, which is great since you benefit from their skill and experience.  The latter relies on your own self-exploration, which is great since you learn how to learn.

For me it gets interesting once you know the standards in your field.  In them martial arts, for example, the standard forms are interesting and have a very important place in training… but they’re ‘boring’.  They’re the same… we know them (although I can easily argue you can always learn more from them).  Understanding the underlying lessons in them, and then applying them to something new, now that’s interesting.  The same is true in other areas.  We’ve all written a “for” loop that counts to 10, but getting to apply that idea to a webpage that solves a real problem is MUCH more interesting and satisfying.

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Unfortunately reality is a bit grittier; the group you work with my not have the same set of standards.  While this provides an advantage in terms of differences of opinion and skillsets, time and energy can be lost if part of the group relies on standards that, well, aren’t standard.

I find that a lot of groups need up-front time spent agreeing on what the standards are (or even understanding they exist).  This shifts the focus from “lets go build something cool with our collective background knowledge” to “lets agree on what the tools are”.  This can easily feel like a delay in getting to the work at hand, but it is time very well spent.  The start of a project should include time to level set on standards including what specific terms mean, what methodologies or tools will be used and how to communicate.  This will reduce the change of a misunderstanding as to standards and free up time to innovate.

At the end of it all standards are just that.  Standard.  Knowing that something will be the same, regardless of where you happen to be or who you work with, is incredibly powerful.  This common language allows you to look into new topics, and explore old ones in new ways.  They also serve as a fallback, something you can use and rely on when things get pear-shaped.  The trick is to share your standards with others, and to be on the lookout for opportunities to apply them in new and creative ways.

Flexing your focus muscles

Focus is an interesting thing.  At times we can hold our focus on something for what seems like forever, getting lost in a flow state.  At other times, we can’t bring even the smallest amount of focus to the situation and are easily distracted.  While it seems like focus is something we cannot control, it’s exactly the opposite… focus is 100% at our command.

Choice

It’s easy to say tell yourself “oh, I just can’t focus right now” (even more true with today’s notifications, popups, etc.etc.etc.).  For me, however, this is an excuse, a choice.  We’d rather be somewhere else, with different people (or no people), doing something else than where we’re at.  Personally I find this especially true sometimes at work, there is a limit to how many times I can sit through a meeting on the same topic.

When this happens, we choose to unfocus and essentially drift.  This is something I see when teaching martial art classes with younger students.  They’d rather be at home playing video games, or hanging out with their friends, or doing anything other than working out.  This desire then leads to them making a choice to allow their focus to drift.  (As an aside I’m constantly amused at how surprised they are that their instructors notice this… it’s INCREDIBLY obvious when someone isn’t paying attention).  

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I see this in myself sometimes as well… I’d much rather not be at work grinding away at a report, so instead I allow my focus to drift to other things.  I find little “important” projects to work on, or suddenly learn that a training video really should be completed immediately.  

The trick I’ve learned is that focus isn’t something that comes and goes randomly (despite how much it feels like it sometimes).  Instead it is something we can consciously control and master.  Focus is a mental discipline that, like a muscle, can be strengthened and flexed at will.  Just like building any muscle, however, the hard part is putting in the effort and time to master its use and improve it.  The step of realizing this is possible, however, is just the beginning… actually doing it is something else entirely.

Start Small

Just like building any skill, start small.  For me, writing these articles has been great training in focus.  I put aside ten, fifteen minutes every few days and just write.  The intention of this drill isn’t to create something worth sharing, or get better at writing (although those can certainly be outcomes), it’s to practice focusing on punching the keys.  Part of this may also be put aside time to just focus on reviewing and editing my ideas.  The point isn’t that I’ve chosen writing, it’s that I’m consciously deciding to practice focusing on one thing.

This approach can be applied to anything.  In martial arts training (or any physical discipline) we may choose to focus on a single movement or step.  Working that step, and thinking through each individual part of it, no matter how small, helps build our focus.  At work we may choose to focus on one part of our job for a period of time.  I personally find that I need to do this when building project management plans, so I consciously decide on time to focus on that… and only that.

These seemingly small conscious exercises have multiple benefits.  They help us with the skill we happen to be working on (better project plans, more graceful form), but they also help train our ability to focus. 

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By stealing some concepts from weightlifting we can also work on increasing our gains while we practice.  You don’t get really strong / big arms by lifting light weights a few times, you get bigger/faster/stronger by lifting more weight, or lifting it more times, or lifting it in less time.  The same holds true for focus.  As we get better, we need to consciously work on focusing more intensely (blocking out even more distractions), in odder circumstances (try working with a toddler nearby and you’ll know what I mean) or for longer durations (set aside an hour instead of 30 minutes).  By flexing our focus muscle in more demanding situations it will get stronger.

None of this can happen, however, without our conscious effort.  We rarely get better at things we don’t bend our will to, and even those we do won’t see nearly the same level of improvement.   

Steps to improve focus

1. Remind yourself you’re in control

2. Set aside time to practice focusing on something

3. Record how it went

4. Make it more challenging (more time, different circumstance, etc)

5. Repeat 2-4

Play a little, train a little, work a little every day

One of the better approaches to planning/spending my day came from my martial arts training.  “Train a little, work a little, play a little every day”.  This approach has helped me stay (a bit) more balanced, and has helped keep me from going overboard in any one area.

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Work a little

In the same lens of improving ourselves physically (or my addition of upskilling), taking a little bit of time to “work” is also important.  Originally I took this to mean job-related work, taking time to write a few emails, tweaking a set of slides, or thinking through a strategy.  This helps keep moving things forward, but I’ve also found it helps relieve some mental pressure (especially over weekends!) as I get time to plan things out.  

In the same way we can combine “Train a little” with both physical and upskilling, we can do this with “Work a little”.  I frequently think through a work challenge while I”m on a run.  This double dipping gives me a bit more time to figure out what I should do, while also helping me improve in multiple areas.

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Play a Little

This is an important one… take time every day to play.  I interpret this to mean do something you enjoy solely because you enjoy doing it.  This could mean playing a video game, reading a book, gardening, or anything else you enjoy.  The point of this isn’t to improve a skill, or get something done, it’s to allow yourself to relax.  Relaxing helps us let go of stress, and more importantly helps us unpack our emotions and thoughts.  

I find this unpacking makes it much easier to re-engage with work (or something stressful) than if I haven’t had that time to unpack.  It's similar to organizing your closet - at the end of it you realize there’s a lot more space than you thought, and you can actually find things.

Train a little

In the martial arts aspect this would mean making time to go run forms, or practice fighting, or teaching.  This could be a formal class, going to the park and training by yourself, or just taking 5 minutes to meditate during the day.  As I thought about this more I also realized it covered anything related to improving myself as a martial artist.. Going for a run, putting together a training schedule, updating my notebook, etc. all contribute towards training.

As I’ve spent more time in the workforce I’ve also come to understand this from an upskilling perspective.  In addition to the physical training aspect, I also include things like learning a new skill through a platform like Udemy (shameless plug!), reading a book that relates to business or talking to others about their approach to their career.  The point isn’t to pick a specific way to improve your skillset (whether it be physical, professional or otherwise), but that you take time every day to do SOMETHING to move the needle in those areas.

There are some ways to combine these, such as listening to podcasts while running, or having in-depth philosophical discussions while sparring (let me know how that one goes if you try it!).

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All of this isn’t to say that you cannot have days that focus on just one or two of these areas.  Many of us frequently dive into work and take a lot of our time to wrangle with those challenges.  This can be a great use of time, especially when we’re in a flow state or achieve something satisfying.  The danger is we end up “stuck” in any one of these modes to our overall detriment.  By taking time to do each of these, train, work and play, we allow ourselves to trend more towards a balanced state. WE can even combine these, such as the listening to podcast while running example (improving work-related areas while also exercising).  The more balanced and stable we are, the better we will be able to react and address other things in our life.

Laid Off? Invest in Your Self

I can now claim the dubious honor of being caught up in two different layoffs at two different startups (one more for the hat trick!). Both times I have been part of a much larger group that was laid off due to dramatic reorganizations that impacted the entire company, and while they were certainly traumatic to some extent, I have viewed both as an uncommon opportunity, as space in which to improve my Self.

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Growth Takes Space

I’ve found that when I’m working at any particular job it can be hard to think of next steps.  The mental weight of having that job makes it harder to envision a better / brighter / whatever path.  This “old growth” makes it harder to see what a next step could be, or to see what I would like to improve.  After all, I already have a job, so why would I look for something else that might be a better fit for me?

Having now been laid off twice in my career I’ve found it has a similar effect on my mental state; a (relatively) brief period of trauma followed by more room to expand with new ideas and directions.  I also feel this on a much smaller scale when I get to work on a new project or have a new position… space is created by giving up something old, which allows something new to grow in its place.  The challenge I have is to guide that growth so it serves me, instead of just growing organically.

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Uncertain Direction

One of the challenges with getting laid off is it strips away some of our direction.  We no longer have a job to report to, no longer have teammates to whiteboard solutions with, no longer have systems to monitor or memes to send out.  This opens up a wide range of possibilities, but also introduces some uncertainty into what we should do.

This raises questions which lead to more questions which lead to more stress:

• “Why me?….”

• “What did I do wrong to end up here?”

• “How will I make rent in X months?”

• “Who’s hiring?”

• “What will happen to the plant I left at the office?”

While concern is warranted, worry is not a good strategy (it’s right up there with hope).  Instead of focusing on that concern, I’ve begun to view this uncertainty as a freedom (although usually not without a period of freaking out a bit…).  This is really a nice clearing to sit in comfortably for a little while, a space to help me ask slightly different questions:

• “What should I keep doing wherever I end up?”

• “What should I stop doing when I get there?”

• “What do I WANT to do?”

• “How can I do that?”

This shift in mental direction makes it easier for me to be on the lookout for opportunities that I will find of value and provide some personal growth (this blog for example).  By shifting the internal discussion from “this is only terrible” to “hmm, this is a great opportunity” I find it much easier to find new paths forward, paths that maybe I wouldn’t have seen earlier.

I’m not saying this is necessarily easy, especially as other circumstances can add further pressure (having a partner who is also out of work, children to care for, etc).  We certainly need to keep the totality of our lives in mind, but taking the time given to me by getting laid off and investing it in myself has given great results.

Time to Breathe

The space provided by being laid off generally results in some period of not-working-time.  Not-working-time is uncommon in our adult lives… we may take a week or two vacation, but rarely will get more than two weeks in a row where we’re not required to show up from 9-5 (or 8-6… or 7-7…etc).  After the initial shock wears off, this time can be spent to just…breathe.  Take stock of what you’ve got going on, cultivate your self and enjoy the time you’re not slaved to a clock to finish a project or answer tickets or follow up on some report.

Some folks take this time to travel in ways they couldn’t before (Tahiti for a month?), others use it to get into a hobby they’ve always wanted to (cross-stitch anyone?).  I’ve personally used it to meditate and better understand my self (honestly one of the most challenging, demanding, and rewarding exercises I’ve ever done).  The point isn’t to do a specific thing, but instead to not just focus 1,000% on finding the next job.  Instead use this time to step back, take a breath, and think about how we can create the life we want vs. accepting the one given to us.

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Seeing the Clearing in the Trees

Getting laid off is an incredibly stressful event, and it can be incredibly challenging to find the bright spot in losing your job.  While it’s true this is work, and may take a lot of mental energy, it is an incredibly rewarding way to spend this time between jobs.  Some ways I’ve found to help see the space and appreciate it:

• Question yourself - Ask questions to yourself about what you want to learn or do differently with your career and life instead of just how to keep it moving along the same path.

• Chat it up - Talk to friends and family about what they know about you… what they think you’d enjoy doing, or what you’ve enjoyed in the past.  Their perspective is incredibly valuable and can give you great insight into your blind spots.  Talk to (now former) coworkers about what you did well and pursue that.

• Just chill - Take time to indulge a bit more in things you enjoy.  Take a painting class, go somewhere you’ve always wanted to but “couldn’t”, workout.  This rare bit of time if yours to shape into whatever you want.

Performance Reviews!

It’s that wonderful time of year when employees the world over receive their performance reviews and the collective blood pressure/stress levels spike.  Performance reviews always feel like a stressful situation, for both managers (who have to find ways to constructively point out areas of improvement) and employees (who have to find ways to accept feedback in a healthy way).  I find it very helpful to keep one thing in mind - people wouldn’t give us feedback if they didn’t care about us.

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Asking for Help

I know I’ve agonized over every step of the feedback process, from selecting peers to provide it, to writing my own, to reading my own.  It can be very hard to get into the mindset of “I want you to help me improve” because it requires us to become vulnerable. Not only are we asking for help (something in itself that can be a challenge), we’re asking for someone else to hold up a mirror and show us the flaws that we don’t see.  

Despite the pain, this tends to be the quickest way to figure out where you can improve.  If you’re looking for a promotion, you’ll certainly need to do this, but at the very least you should be interested in making your life (and your coworkers lives) easier by plugging the holes and amplifying your strengths. The point of feedback is to improve yourself. Unfortunately many of us confuse it with getting a promotion/raise/etc, which corrupts the goal and dilutes the result.

My approach is to pick somewhere from 5-10 folks to provide a review.  I know some percentage won’t get back to me, so having 5-10 helps ensure at least a few will (this doesn’t include my manager or direct reports, who are generally automatically included).  If I can’t think of folks I go over any projects I’ve worked on over the year (also helpful with writing your own feedback!), specifically for longer or more challenging ones and select folks from those.  I also do my best not to cherry pick only folks I know will give me a “good” review… the intention is, after all, to improve.

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Writing Your Own Feedback

This to me is always a challenge.  It requires both cheer-leading yourself but also being objective.  You need to keep enough self-awareness to point out where you can improve, while also showcasing your accomplishments.  It also requires actually remembering what you’ve been up to.

I start with just listing out things I’ve done over the year (or however long it’s been since the last review) and grouping them into themes (led X# projects to completion, etc.).  I may call out one or two big wins, but this is mainly to help me shape the rest of the my self-review. Once I’ve got a good view of what went on I see if there are any patterns (positive or negative) to look into.  These patterns make it much easier to start, and also provide a focus as I think through what I’m going to write down.

The critical self-feedback is always a bit more challenging, but I perform the same basic process - examine my work for any patterns I want to change, and dig into those.  This may result in bigger themes (e.g. improve my ability to think strategically) to specific skill sets to improve (training in project management).

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Writing Others Feedback

This one is always a toss up for me.  Not a toss up in terms of “will I do it?”, but in terms of what feedback I’ll give them.  The general intention I follow is to call out things they do well and should keep doing, and point out areas they may either be unaware of, or areas I feel they can be stronger.

Blind spots can be tricky to point out since I don’t want them to feel attacked.  For example, “You never provide a meeting agenda and I hate that” isn’t really a positive way to point out an area to improve.  Something more along the lines of “You schedule a lot of meetings, I think you’d be more impact by including an agenda”.

Point out areas to amplify is a bit easier, since you can build on something they already do.  For example “You’re off to a great start writing project summaries. They’ll be even better if you include an appendix”.  This not only shows them a behavior you want them to continue to do, but offers some way to make it even better.

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Positives and Needs Improvement (Work in Progress, Weaknesses, Opportunities, etc …)

One of the major features of a performance review is to include examples of your strengths and weaknesses.  This is always a fun exercise of first remembering what you’ve done over the past 6-12 months, and second critically thinking about areas you can improve (which tends to run directly into my ego at full speed).

I find it easier to think in terms of stories when talking about strengths.  Saying you’re a good communicator is one thing, but providing a narrative that gives context and details makes it both easier to write and share.  Conversely I find it easier to stick with discreet statements on opportunities, and then add a bit about how I will improve it. This helps demonstrate that I both understand where I need to improve, and have thought through some fixes (at the very least).

Strength example - My communication skills helped defuse a very tense escalation with a client resulting from a system error.

Weakness example - My communication skills need work.  To improve these I will sign up for XYZ class and double check every email before sending.

The goal here is to exercise self-awareness so you can self-correct. Feedback from others twice a year is good, continuous (honest) feedback from yourself is even better.

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Dealing with feedback

Opening yourself up to feedback can be a very scary (and challenging) thing, and getting it can be even more challenging.  I tend to read my feedback several times before I even try to understand it. This mainly stems from reading the “opportunities” section (e.g. where you can improve).  My ego frequently kicks in and gets defensive about the comments and immediately begins formulating responses.

Not very helpful.

It’s not helpful because this individual is:

• Someone I’ve asked to help me by giving feedback - While not true for 100% of folks (e.g. some places may assign reviewers, and typically your manager and direct reports always give feedback), in most cases you’ve ASKED for their input.  Unless that feedback is wildly out of line you’re both wasting their time and second-guessing yourself.

• Has a unique perspective on me - This is both frustrating and helpful.  Frustrating because you know you don’t do XYZ thing all the time… helpful because it is how at least one person views you (imagine all the folks you didn’t ask who have the same viewpoint….).

In order to actually learn from that type of feedback I desensitize myself to it.  I’ll read it a few times, then walk away. Then come back and repeat. Once the twitching has stopped (for the most part anyway), I’ll then see if I agree with what they said.  Frequently I can find other examples of their feedback, which makes it easier for me to digest it.

I would almost prefer the feedback where my ego kicks in and immediately starts screaming challenges to the feedback that doesn’t tell me anything interesting.  In the first case I have to learn to take a critical look at myself and examine potential flaws (even if I’m blind to them). In the second case, I get comments like this :

“I cannot think of anything else he can improve on”

Possible reasons for this response:

• This is my fault - I may have picked a non-optimal reviewer (e.g. someone who didn’t work with me enough to get a good picture), or I failed to outline what I was looking for in the feedback (e.g. prompting).

• This is their fault - It is also possible this individual simply didn’t put energy into this to think through our interactions.  Basically they’re cheating me out of improvements because they’re lazy.  

• I really am perfect. - (unlikely)

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Summary

Feedback is a skill, and like any skill it gets better with practice.  Don’t wait for the end of the year, half or quarter to solicit feedback from folks.  The more constant, honest feedback you get the faster you’ll be able to improve.

There’s always someone better...

One of the more egotistically painful lessons I’ve learned through the martial arts is that there is always someone better than you.  Someone better, faster, stronger, higher-jumping, etc. than you are. Even worse, even if all you did was focus on the training there are still folks out there who are better in those areas that you can possibly be.  I spent a good deal of time beating my head into this idea (fruitlessly) before finally accepting it.  Once I got over the hump of wanting to be the absolute best at something, I could finally focus on just doing MY best.

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It’s the Same Everywhere

Our professional lives are no different - there’s always someone who knows the tech better, is paid more, has a “better” job etc. There’s always someone who puts in more effort, gets more blind luck, etc. And while there’s no Olympics of coding (or tech… or finance…), you can bet that if there were most of us wouldn’t come close. It can be incredibly hard not to obsess over those differences. This is a very slippery slope; once we start we end up spending more and more time thinking about those things. At best this ends up sapping energy and focus from things that are actually important - work projects, family, friends, your self, etc.

The worst part about this is the energy we spend obsessing over others results in less energy to spend on becoming better ourselves. The very “problem” we are concerned with ends up taking away from a solution to that problem. While there are a great many things we can focus on in people who are “better” than us, there’s also a great many things we can focus on to get past this mental trap.

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Getting Over the Hump

The best way to move past this is to simply accept that there are others out there, somewhere, that are better. After all, it’s factually true, and you (hopefully) don’t dispute gravity, so why this? That said, this is hard… really hard. It requires giving up some portions of the self that can be really satisfying to entertain (who doesn’t love imagining what it’d be like to be the best at something?). It initially takes a LOT of mental energy to not allow those thoughts to surface (why is it NOT doing something can be harder than doing something?…).

This is a challenging skill to build, but the effort is more than worth it. Learning to first identify, then stop, then completely avoid, going down the “I’m not the best” rabbit hole takes a lot of conscious effort. There are a few tricks I’ve learned to help:

• Acknowledge when those thoughts pop up - we cannot stop something if we don’t know it’s there. Simply realizing that you’re having these thoughts is a great first step in curbing them. This might take the form of writing it down, saying it out loud, or simply telling myself mentally that it happened. Over time you’ll end up training yourself to automatically do this and save yourself the trouble.

• Redirect the thought - Instead of thinking “Sally’s so much better than me”, I ask myself “Why can I learn from Sally to get better?”. This helps convert the potentially time wasting effort into something that I can use to improve. Depending on the situation I might even go talk to Sally and pick her brain a bit (I’ve met a LOT of great people this way).

• Get external validation - I find it way too easy to convince myself I’m not doing “well”. It helps to ask others how they think I’m doing. This will either give me positive feedback to help boost me up, or give me some (hopefully) constructive feedback on how to improve.

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Just like in the martial arts, the fact there is someone better doesn’t mean that each individual can’t, or shouldn’t, do their best to be their best. While in some cases another’s success can come at the cost of our own (e.g. not getting the job opening), in most cases other’s success is, at “worst” neutral to us (e.g. we don’t get harmed in any way by it). Many times their success can actually help us (a teammate develops a better process that helps the whole team and gets promoted), so instead of focusing on “why aren’t I the best”, take time to focus on “how can I become the best me?”.

Certifications vs. Experience

There is a constant debate in the tech landscape (and in many others, I’m sure!) over training/certifications vs. experience.  Certifications, on the one hand, expose folks to a wide range of concepts and ideas, and give a bit of weight to someone as the certifying body says they know enough to be certified.  Experience, on the other hand, is an excellent (if sometimes painful) teacher that provides deep knowledge.

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The Case For Certifications / Training

Certifications give other folks some indication that you have satisfied the certifying body that you know something. These certifying bodies tend to either be an equipment manufacturer (e.g. CISCO, Google, etc.) or an independent third party (e.g. CompTIA). I find that the harder, more specific skills tend to be manufacturer based (which makes sense since CISCO likely knows the most about their own hardware), while broader, softer skills tend to be third party (e.g. PMI handles project management). Many of these groups have been around for years, and are recognized as industry-standard, which gives the certificates they issues some extra weight.

This makes certifications a great tool to demonstrate your skill set to someone who either doesn’t know you (or your work), and provides a way to validate experience.  Going through the certification process also tends to involve some amount of training and studying, providing more tools and broadening your knowledge base. This, to me, is one of the best aspects since it helps round out knowledge. This both improves my skill set, but also gives me more common ground when working with others in my field.

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The Case Against Certifications / Training

One of the weaknesses with certifications is the reliance on the certifying body.  You can, for example, buy a doctorate in your field for around $1,000 from an online university.  While you’re technically a doctor, it doesn’t mean you’ve put in the same effort as someone who went through, say, Stanford’s programs.  In a less extreme (and likely more common) case, you may end up earning a certification from a group that isn’t well known, well respected, or is so basic it doesn’t really prove anything (while I love by “Lucid Chart Expert” certification, it only took about 10 minutes to earn and covered bare basics).

A certification’s worth is entirely dependent on what the certifying body puts in the exam, and how others value the certification is dependent on what they think of that governing body.  A Cisco certification, for example, doesn’t mean you know everything about Cisco, just that you have passed the exam (many of which have low barriers to pass, like 60%). This reality makes many people wary of trusting certifications since they only prove that you’ve passed a test, not that you necessarily know the field.  Some groups mitigate this by including experiential requirements in the certification (e.g. the PMP issued by PMI required some number of project management hours verified by your manager). 

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The Case For Experience

Experience is a great teacher.  I’ve learned a ton about programming simply by trying to solve problems on my own.  The frustration of running into dead ends and the joy of (eventually) overcoming the challenge is a great journey.  As a result, I’ve worked on many interesting problems and expanded my skill set in a number of directions that may not have appeared in official training or certification.  This gives me a deeper background in some areas that I can more easily apply to the next problem that pops up.

The great part is once others see what you can do, they’ll tell others.  Even better, they’ll think of you in the future and send work your way or help recommend you for other roles or projects.  Others having personal knowledge of your experience is an incredible asset that cannot be bought or learned in a test.

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The Case Against Experience

The flip side is that unless someone knows you personally (or talks to someone who does), they have no idea what your experience actually is or what it is worth.  There’s no way for them to know if you can do what you claim without some kind of validation (e.g. a certification). This is why many companies have a coding challenge component to their hiring process - they need to know if you can walk to the walk.

Experience can also result in you missing key concepts or tools that someone who went through training would know about (a huge problem for me!).  This results in blind spots that may make things hard to figure out since you are missing key information. This is one of the challenges I’ve personally run into learning how to code, although it has led to some great “I could’ve just done THAT this whole time??” moments. At best this helps you learn how to find information (but takes a LONG time), at worst you are unable to continue.

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My Approach

While I do really enjoy earning certifications (admittedly I enjoy the ego boost, but I also enjoy learning more about what I’m involved with), I do also recognize the value of raw experience.  Over the years I’ve tried to take pieces from both sides of the debate. I’ll use both personal exploration to build experience, and studying/certifications to build general knowledge. This is especially true when I’m given a new piece of tech to work with - I’ll take time to play around with it, while also digging into the general training. I’ve found this approach is great since these approaches compliment each other (the hands-on stuff gives context to the training, and the training guides the hands-on).

One area this has been very useful is in project management.  There are many different concepts/tools/ideas that may be applied, and it’s challenging to get those any way other than training.  Since it’s such a soft skill though, I cannot rely just on the textbooks, I have to get out there and experience it to see what else there is to it.  By having both the hands on experience, and the background concepts I’m able to be a much more effective project manger.

I also find both sides very useful for hard skills, particularly when I was learning Google Apps Scripting (GAS).  I had no background in programming, which meant basically a vertical learning curve. I did learn a lot about programming by experiencing it, but this was best described as smashing my head into the keyboard until it worked, I was missing out on some really basic concepts (data mapping blew my mind… until someone showed me that I was running several nested FOR loops).

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Parting Thoughts

There’s arguments on both sides, but in the end it is up to each individual’s preference.  This may also be influenced by our working environment (e.g. some jobs may prefer or require specific certifications, many for good reason!  I wouldn’t want to go to a medical doctor that only learned by experience…) Some folks get by great on experience alone, others knock it out of the park with training.  It’s up to each of us to determine the best approach for ourselves, and then to apply ourselves to it.

I Rock

One of the first things I do any time I start a new job is make a folder called “I Rock”.  As time goes on I add anything to that folder that makes me remember that I do, in fact, rock.  This might be something as simple as a thank-you from a business partner, to a screenshot of someone’s positive feedback, to a list of the projects I’ve successfully launched.  The intention is to give me a solid library of positive things that I can look at any time I’m feeling less than 100%, but it’s got a great upside during performance reviews as well.

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Remembering what you do well

Humans are, unfortunately, a bit hardwired to remember mistakes, or things that maybe didn’t go as well as we hope (take a second to think of something you didn’t do well back in, say, middle school…. now try it with something you did well. Which was easier?).  This makes complete sense, since we need to remember something that might hurt us (don’t go over there, the tiger will eat you). Unfortunately, this ability generally ends up in us only remembering the negative experiences (like that one email I sent without proofing).  While yes, it is useful to remember the things NOT to do, it is even more important to remember all the things that go well.  While these memories are always great to think about, these snippets of positivity are a great counter to those times when we screw up.  They allow us to blunt the impact of the error, or even erase the emotional negativity entirely.

We’ve all been stuck in those downward spirals of “I screwed that up real bad”. Personally, I find it challenging to break out of these since everything feels like failure. I also find these states make it easier to keep screwing up (or at least I perceive it that way) since everything is already tinted poorly. Having a life-line of stored positive things is a great way to help pull myself out of those holes, or at least stop me from sinking deeper.

In Practice

Personally I take a two pronged approach to building up my stockpile. I create a folder on my desktop or in gDrive and I make an email label.  I’m sure there are other ways to keep track of these - printing off hard copies into a binder, setting up an auto-reminder every week with a random sample of a positive message, etc. I’ve found that these two options play into my laziness.

I use the label the most frequently since most of my work happens to be in email. Finding positive messages is as simple as clicking on “I Rock”.  It’s incredibly easy to add something I want to remember, and it makes for instant gratification when I search for it.  It is also really nice seeing EVERYTHING that pops up.  I get to both see the individual emails, but also the total, which has a huge impact on how I’m feeling.

I use the folder for screenshots or downloads of positivity. This might be a Slack message from someone thanking me for sometimes, or a bit of feedback from a performance management system I don’t want to lose.  I save everything with a short name and the date (“Thanks from integrations - 10 1 2019”) so I can figure out what It’s for, and I make sure the sender’s name is included in the screen cap so I remember who sent it. I tend to use whatever built-in screen-cap solution is available on my computer (again, laziness wins).

I do get the occasional laugh when I’m in meetings and someone spies my folder or label. This tends to kickoff a great discussion about what it is and why I have it (I’m surprised more folks don’t have a similar bucket to capture their awesomeness).  I get chuckle too, since it is a bit odd to keep these snippets, but I’ve caught a few of my coworkers adopting this approach.

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Performance Bump

While I mainly use these tools to help boost my mental-health they can help when performance reviews come around. Many places I’ve worked have had some kind of performance management system that is intended to capture feedback/kudos/etc as time goes on. Despite this, I find that many places do not have a culture that provides prompt feedback (or frequently any feedback at all).  While the intention behind these tools is to collect or send real-time feedback, they are seldomly used in practice.  This makes it especially frustrating when called out for doing something incorrectly (or, depending on the situation, “incorrectly”), while never getting called out for doing positive things.  It does take some effort to keep a personal list of the good feedback, I’ve found that in addition immensely useful when looking for a pick-me up it can help when being reviewed.

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You Rock

We all do great things on a regular basis, the challenge is recognizing them and remembering them later. These things don’t have to be big, they can be small wins, a quick thank you from a teammate, or something you feel you did well. The point to keep these artifacts of success readily at hand to help keep driving you upwards and onwards.

Know what to cut

When I was in 5th grade I remember a classmate telling me how excited he was that the teacher was cutting everyone’s lowest quiz score. I got excited because my lowest score was…. low, but I was entirely confused that he was dropping his lowest score, a 92%. To me that was a great grade, so why would he want to not keep it?

Now despite my younger-selfs math-related challenges I find the approach of dropping the things that are holding us back very beneficial. Not only do we better understand what we are doing every day, but we can also hone our skills and improve our outcomes. I’m not suggesting we simply stop answering tickets, or stop doing chores, but I am suggesting that can find creative ways to get rid of the work that holds us back from becoming something greater.

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What’s holding you back?

The first step is to figure out what, specifically, is keeping you stuck. This might be having to run a specific report, or manage a specific system, or deal with specific client group. I find it helpful to go through my calendar and emails and see what I would procrastinate on, or what I have a poor knee-jerk reaction to. That meeting on Tuesday mornings with auditors that I always dread? That one email from accounting I keep snoozing? Both great examples of things that maybe I could find a way to drop.

Just write down anything that falls into that bucket (I’m focusing mainly on work, but this can apply to anything), and, ideally, a quick reason WHY you’re putting it on The List. You don’t have to make The List all at once (I keep a rolling one going), so don’t feel like you need to cram in everything. The List may also change as time goes on. Maybe the guy in Accounting you don’t like working with leaves, or maybe you’re given the opportunity to improve the report that you hate running. Don’t think of this as being set-in-stone, but rather something that grows and changes with you.

Our example list:

Audit Report

Accounting Meeting

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Now What?

Once your List is up and running make time to better understand what about each item makes you want to cut it. This could be a one word reminder, or a longer description of why it’s holding you back, but the intention is to better understand both why and how its holding you back. In my math example it would be “A 92 is my lowest score, and it’s lowering my overall grade”. For running a report it might be “The audit report can be run by anyone and it takes 3 hours every week”. Understanding your knee-jerk response to the item will help you better understand what you can do to get rid of it later.

Unless we get REALLY lucky it’s unlikely you’ll be able to get rid of everything on The List, so after you understand WHY it’s bugging you, stack rank everything. I find it helpful to quantify things a big with the following dimensions, both are on a subjective 1-5 scale of 1 being low and 5 being high.

• Frequency - How frequently does this thing come up? Is it a standing weekly meeting, or only once a year?

• Annoyance - How much does this item bug me? Will I complain about it to my spouse daily, or only gripe about it to myself once in a while?

This makes it a bit easier to more “objectively” (in quotes since the scales are entirely subjective) determine which item should be jettisoned before others. Once I’ve rated everything I just add the scores together and look for the highest number.

Our updated list:

Item	Frequency	Annoyance	Total
Audit Report	5	2	7
Accounting Mtg	3	5	8

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And Then?….

Now comes the tricky part. We’ve done the work of figuring out what we want to get rid of, and in what order… now we have to actually get rid of it. Exactly how this happens depends a lot on your environment, what is available at the time and your company’s culture. Some of my favorites:

Shift the work to a more junior co-worker

“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”. This can hold true for work as well. Many times a task that I find boring or mundane is something a more junior co-worker will jump on. Instead of being an onerous task I have to deal with, it morphs into a coaching opportunity that helps upskill my team. This is beneficial to me, since I both get rid of the task, beneficial to my teammate who gets exposure to something new, and beneficial to the greater team since skills are being improved overall.

Automate the task

While this doesn’t work in all cases (e.g. meetings), this is one of my favorites. Many tasks, especially those in a tech environment, can be automated away. In addition to getting rid of the work, I find this a fun technical exercise, almost like a mini-project. In the past I’ve done things like automating reports, auto-forwarded emails, written google scripts to automate badging into classes, and tapped into APIs to grab workday data. Any given solution will be unique (which is half the fun), but I really enjoy this approach since I both get to remove work from my plate, and explore new methods of automating stuff.

Delete the work

In some (usually rare) cases, the task can simply be deleted. I’ve found this to be true with some reports, especially ones that are more historic, as well as some access-related tasks (simply stop sending it or remove access and see what happens). You need to be careful with this particular approach, however, since the thing you delete might actually be needed. To help curb this instead of outright deleting something I tend to disable or hide it for a while. If no one notices after a month or two I’ll straight up remove it.

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I was told there would be no math

While this exercise does take time, it is incredibly helpful, even if you can’t actually get rid of anything immediately. A better understanding of what you want to get rid of will help you start to find ways of improving. You’ll also get a list of things you can talk to your team or manager about, which may lead to some interesting solutions (maybe other folks have the same things on their List, or have creative ways of dealing with it). It helps me to remember that when I’m looking over what I do. At the very least I’ll get a better understanding of my work, at best I’ll be able to better focus on what is really important.

Getting into tech

Many people I speak to who aren’t “in tech” express a desire to be “in tech”. There seems to be a certain glamour surrounding being 'in tech', that being able to say you're 'in tech’ is a Good Thing. I always get a kick out of this since being 'in tech' can mean many thing (also the reason I use the quotes for 'in tech’). Do you want to become a product manager? A programmer? Network Engineer? There’s a huge range of opportunities “in tech”, the trick (after determining you want to make a switch) is to pick which branch you want to look into.

Once you do though, be open to a change of pace/leveling/etc. Depending on your background you may essentially be starting from scratch, so make sure you’re OK with a more junior position than you have now (not saying it’s guaranteed, just be prepared!). Once you’re OK with all that there’s a whole lot more work to do!

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What do you mean by tech?

When we think of tech most of us tend to think of a programmer locked in her basement making the Next Big Thing. While I feel this stereotype is damaging to programmers (sometimes they’re locked in their bedrooms), it certainly isn’t the only kind of technical role a company requires. Indeed, the types of technical roles available will vary based on industry. Laboratory technicians are likely not needed at a financial firm, and programmers are less likely to be found in factories.

Have an honest discussion with yourself about what you mean when you say you want to get into a technical role. Reach out to folks you know on LinkedIn who you are in a similar field to see what they think, and grab time with trusted friends/mentors/role models to talk through your thoughts. This will help you better target a good role, and, more importantly, better understand where your thoughts are coming from.

To go with the stereotype, if you’re thinking of becoming a Software Engineer (coder), it is a very available skill (throw a digital rock online and you’ll hit a dozen code academies). It still, however, takes time, discipline and a lot of elbow-grease to pick up (especially at any level that will result in a job at a big company). That said, there are many other technical roles available (by no means an exhaustive list!):

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Technical Project Management

This role blends technical knowledge with project management. Technical Project Managers (TPMs) are essentially project managers for tech. Unlike a “non technical' Project Manager (PM), TPMs tend to require a deeper understanding of the systems or concepts they have manage. For example, a TPM implementing a new SQL database would highly benefit from understanding basic SQL commands, server requirements etc. They also serve as translators between the technical teams and the business partner they’re working with.

Good For - People with project management experience, individuals who want to be around tech without necessarily being IN tech.

Less good for - Wanting to get hands-on with tech. TPMs tend to work tightly with tech teams, but are not generally doing the technical work directly.

Quality Testing

Quality Testers (also called Quality Assurance) are responsible for ensuring products don’t get released with bugs or defects. Frequently this involves developing and executing test plans (which can be incredibly tedious!) that run through every combination of actions or inputs. While they work with software engineering teams they generally do not need the same depth of expertise in coding. They can, however, work on/write testing scripts to help automate the more boring parts of the role.

Good for - Folks who want to get hands-on with tech and do not have an in-depth background

Less good for - Folks who cannot handle monotony. Imagine having to look at the same website for a week and clicking each link repeatedly.

Sales engineering

Sales Engineers work with (you guessed it) sales teams to help sell products. Generally they’re brought in to help demonstrate specific use-cases, features or to find new ways to demonstrate how a product works. Not necessarily a role you’ll find at a smaller company, but larger ones (e..g Salesforce) will certainly have these folks around. Most of the time they know what they’re walking into on a call, but depending on how things go they may have to apply some quick-thinking trouble shooting if an unexpected question comes up.

Good for - Someone with sales experience and interested in working with multiple client groups

Less good for - Someone who doesn’t like sales, or someone or who wants to work with the same customer (internal or otherwise) over longer periods of time.

Data Analyst

Data analysts analyze data (shock!). Contrary to popularly held beliefs there is a huge amount of knowledge needed to be a good Analyst (not just how to use Excel). Fortunately the skills are readily available online and at schools. I personally find this discipline fascinating since it allows us to put order to data and help others draw conclusions from that. Data Analysts almost always need to learn some type of coding language in order to pull and manipulate data (e.g. SQL).

Good for - Someone good at finding and explaining patterns, or good at translating raw data into actionable insights.

Less good for - Folks who don’t like numbers, or folks who don’t like presenting insights to groups.

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Taking the plunge

Once you’ve got a rough idea of what flavor of tech you’re interested in go learn more about it. See if your company has someone who has that role (or a similar one). Ask your friends if they know anyone who’d be willing to chat about it. Take the time to come up with some questions to ask everyone you speak with. This will not only make the best use of your time, but help you get a better handle on WHY you want to get into tech.

While you’re lining up folk to talk to take a look at job postings for the types of jobs you’re interested in. This will help give you a good feel of what types of things company’s look for. For me this really helped line up supplemental training/education (the whole experience vs. training question is out there, but more knowledge never hurts!).

One other thing you can do is look into volunteer opportunities. Many NPOs and community organizations are looking for help and have some interesting projects. At the very least these will help you better understand what you’re getting into and help focus your thinking. Also, they tend to not require 100% of your time, allowing you to stay at your “real” job while you feel things out.

Above all keep a good eye on WHY you want change, and while it may not happen overnight, eventually you’ll find a spot that makes the best sense for you.

Getting comfortable being uncomfortable

Jobs, especially those in tech, constantly throw new (and sometimes exciting!) things our way. These things, however, can range from the mundane and boring to the pulse-pounding hair-pulling problems that come out of nowhere. Regardless of the excitement is causes, I’ve found being constantly uncomfortable with what’s going on has helped me both stay involved and helped me grow.

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Whats uncomfortable?

“Uncomfortable” in this case doesn’t refer to feeling out of place, or feeling afraid/insulted by my team. Uncomfortable instead refers to the feeling of “hmm, I’m not 100% sure I know what this is or how to solve it, but I’ll take a shot!”. Our lives are generally about finding comfort, the most comfortable chair, the most comfortable clothes, the most comfortable relationship. First feeling this at work easily makes most people recoil, since who wants to be uncomfortable?

Uncomfortable can pop up in different spots for different people, but I found it showing up frequently when:

• I’m asked to take on something with a system or team I’m not familiar with

• I’m given vague or incomplete information on an ask

• I get pulled in to something last minute

These are all cases where I feel surprised, overwhelmed or frustrated.

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Settle in, get comfy

There’s really only two options when that feeling comes up:

1. Embrace it and settle in

2. Reject it

Running is easy, really easy. This looks like pawning it off on a teammate, telling someone it’s not something you do, or simply not engaging with the request. Sometimes this response is appropriate, for example if you’re asked to something wildly outside your realm (think being asked to build dashboards when you’re an infrastructure engineer or front end work when you’ve never done that). How you do turn it down is important (and something I’ll get into more detail later!), but the other option is to embrace the discomfort.

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Why get comfy?

Just like building muscle results in a bit of stiff or soreness, embracing the discomfort at work results in stronger and broader skills. Since that discomfort usually stems from being pushed a little bit further than you want to be pushed it also represents an opportunity to grow. Embracing that discomfort means embracing the chance to grow and to build new skills.

That said, it’s not always easy! Just like that first workout can turn someone off to the gym, accepting those tough, uncomfortable, assignments can be hard. Instead of seeing it as a painful thing to endure, I’ve begun to see it as a positive reflection of growth. Having that uncomfortable feeling now means I get to learn something new, and get to become stronger. So learn to get comfortable being uncomfortable. See out those things that will push you. It doesn’t matter if you blow it out of the water, or take your time working it through, you’ll get stronger.