One of the first things I do any time I start a new job is make a folder called “I Rock”. As time goes on I add anything to that folder that makes me remember that I do, in fact, rock. This might be something as simple as a thank-you from a business partner, to a screenshot of someone’s positive feedback, to a list of the projects I’ve successfully launched. The intention is to give me a solid library of positive things that I can look at any time I’m feeling less than 100%, but it’s got a great upside during performance reviews as well.
Remembering what you do well
Humans are, unfortunately, a bit hardwired to remember mistakes, or things that maybe didn’t go as well as we hope (take a second to think of something you didn’t do well back in, say, middle school…. now try it with something you did well. Which was easier?). This makes complete sense, since we need to remember something that might hurt us (don’t go over there, the tiger will eat you). Unfortunately, this ability generally ends up in us only remembering the negative experiences (like that one email I sent without proofing). While yes, it is useful to remember the things NOT to do, it is even more important to remember all the things that go well. While these memories are always great to think about, these snippets of positivity are a great counter to those times when we screw up. They allow us to blunt the impact of the error, or even erase the emotional negativity entirely.
We’ve all been stuck in those downward spirals of “I screwed that up real bad”. Personally, I find it challenging to break out of these since everything feels like failure. I also find these states make it easier to keep screwing up (or at least I perceive it that way) since everything is already tinted poorly. Having a life-line of stored positive things is a great way to help pull myself out of those holes, or at least stop me from sinking deeper.
In Practice
Personally I take a two pronged approach to building up my stockpile. I create a folder on my desktop or in gDrive and I make an email label. I’m sure there are other ways to keep track of these - printing off hard copies into a binder, setting up an auto-reminder every week with a random sample of a positive message, etc. I’ve found that these two options play into my laziness.
I use the label the most frequently since most of my work happens to be in email. Finding positive messages is as simple as clicking on “I Rock”. It’s incredibly easy to add something I want to remember, and it makes for instant gratification when I search for it. It is also really nice seeing EVERYTHING that pops up. I get to both see the individual emails, but also the total, which has a huge impact on how I’m feeling.
I use the folder for screenshots or downloads of positivity. This might be a Slack message from someone thanking me for sometimes, or a bit of feedback from a performance management system I don’t want to lose. I save everything with a short name and the date (“Thanks from integrations - 10 1 2019”) so I can figure out what It’s for, and I make sure the sender’s name is included in the screen cap so I remember who sent it. I tend to use whatever built-in screen-cap solution is available on my computer (again, laziness wins).
I do get the occasional laugh when I’m in meetings and someone spies my folder or label. This tends to kickoff a great discussion about what it is and why I have it (I’m surprised more folks don’t have a similar bucket to capture their awesomeness). I get chuckle too, since it is a bit odd to keep these snippets, but I’ve caught a few of my coworkers adopting this approach.
Performance Bump
While I mainly use these tools to help boost my mental-health they can help when performance reviews come around. Many places I’ve worked have had some kind of performance management system that is intended to capture feedback/kudos/etc as time goes on. Despite this, I find that many places do not have a culture that provides prompt feedback (or frequently any feedback at all). While the intention behind these tools is to collect or send real-time feedback, they are seldomly used in practice. This makes it especially frustrating when called out for doing something incorrectly (or, depending on the situation, “incorrectly”), while never getting called out for doing positive things. It does take some effort to keep a personal list of the good feedback, I’ve found that in addition immensely useful when looking for a pick-me up it can help when being reviewed.
You Rock
We all do great things on a regular basis, the challenge is recognizing them and remembering them later. These things don’t have to be big, they can be small wins, a quick thank you from a teammate, or something you feel you did well. The point to keep these artifacts of success readily at hand to help keep driving you upwards and onwards.